Sometimes
by Inyx Dawn
Summary: Sometimes, when he would look into those hauntingly beautiful eyes, a small flare of...something would flicker deep within his stomach. And sometimes, he only felt something so unpure that it made Ciel want to rip and kill the person making him weak.


**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Yana Toboso, various publishers including but not limited to Square Enix. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Sometimes, when he would look into those hauntingly beautiful burgundy eyes, a small flare of..._something_ would flicker deep within his stomach. The feeling of something forbidden would slowly twist its way upward until it was tearing at his heart and attempting to crawl out of his throat.

* * *

Sometimes, when he would look into those hauntingly beautiful burgundy eyes, a small flare of..._something_ would flicker deep within his stomach. The feeling of something forbidden would slowly twist its way upward until it was tearing at his heart and attempting to crawl out of his throat.

And sometimes, the only thing he felt when he gazed at those orbs was something so _un_pure that it only made Ciel want to rip and tear and _kill _the fucking person who was making him feel so..._weak_.

_'Disgusting,'_ he thought. _'How fucking _human_.'_

Cerulean made its way up to scarlet – dulled and beautiful, endless and ageless; fascinated at the way those eyes seemed to bore into his.

"Basement, now," blue glared.

Burgundy narrowed and glowed. "Yes, my Lord."

* * *

Shackled to the walls in the cold, damp dungeon that made up most of the Phantomhive cellar, the Earl couldn't think of a better place to be, of a place more _perfect_ for someone like him.

"Begin," the boy whispered.

Ciel heard the whip move before he felt it. The sharp crack of its movement and the sudden whoosh of the air being sliced before a prickly pain blossomed at his side. A soothing hand gently caressed the spot, and he sighed contently.

"Do you still wish for me to continue, Young Master?" a low baritone questioned from behind his naked and flushed body.

"Yes," he hissed.

And so it went on; the agony tore its way through his bones, shaking his nerves and making his heart shudder and pound. And Ciel fucking_ loved_ it. This was him in his purest form. This body, this soul did not only experience pain like and worse than this, but they _are _this. Pain, Ciel, Phantomhive, they are all the same.

His bruised body crashed again into the rough stone of the wall causing a guttural moan to break its way through his lips. He felt the whip come down harder (_yes, yes, yes, more_) and his body shook in pleasure and ecstasy. Yes, this is what it craves; this _pleasure _that can only come from this despicable _monster_.

"So lovely," a voice whispered as the whip stopped its violent thrashing on the boy's broken body. "You are always so much more beautiful when in pain, Young Master; and I love how you find absolute _delight_ in these situations.

"Shut up, demon, and unlock me." Angry blue clashed against amused red.

"Of course, my Lord." Sebastian bowed mockingly.

* * *

In this unused room is where he takes out his frustration, his hate, his _fucking_ humanity. The sounds that come from this room are horrible, yes, and absolutely _divine_.

The shadowed silhouette moved quickly and threw itself into a wall, creating a loud bang as the body simultaneously let out a high cry.

Furious eyes glared hatefully at his body, digging blunt nails into the skin as the fingers tried to scratch and tear away at the flesh. He was pulling at bluish hair, all the while screaming and screaming as pain coursed through his soul. Images that blurred into nothing the faster they went swept across his vision until he couldn't see anything except his _disgusting_ flesh. The sounds of his screams created a dull buzz in his ear, and it was almost like he was dead. Except he fucking _wasn't_.

A broken mirror stood in the corner, cast aside so that Ciel wouldn't have to look at himself. But as the images that clung to his eyes started to slow, he could see a part of his reflection. It was nothing more than a brief glimpse of the heel of his left foot, but the boy hated it. He picked up one of the two chairs that were on the tiled floor, and flung it at the glass. He smirked triumphantly as the mirror shattered even more, and fell apart.

_"So beautiful, Young Master. Why hide it?"_ a soft voice whispered, the sound echoing throughout the room, ringing in Ciel's ears.

And he screamed and fucking mutilated his body with his cracked fingernails, withering on the floor in a type of pain that just wasn't _enough_.

* * *

A cold hand gently grasped his hair, pulling his head back so that burning lips could place passionate kisses to pale flesh.

A low groan of appreciation resounded across the room, and a low chuckle soon followed.

"Careful, my Lord, someone might hear you," a sinfully sensuous voice muttered amusedly.

A gasp and the sound of a bed squeaking was his only response.

"Just ah shut up before I l-lose myself again," a child's voice said breathlessly.

Glowing almost purple eyes narrowed sadly and a smooth hand carefully caressed the boy's neck, the tips of his fingers grazing his cheek delicately.

"Why do you continue to fight yourself, Young Master?" the demon asked quietly. "You're only making this worse."

There was silence before the sound of a high pitched crack echoed in the room, and the Earl growled.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, demon!" he whispered, furious. "And get the fuck out of my room!"

Chilling burgundy eyes gazed dispassionately into crazed cobalt. "Of course, my Lord, I apologize."

A feeling of…something tore its way to his throat as he watched Sebastian leave. He growled and dragged sharpened nails across his face until it was the only thing he could feel.

Falling back down into his mattress, Ciel fell asleep with a faint feeling of remorse and the scent of dried blood that was so _fucking_ familiar.

* * *

"The rest of my soul is yours," the young voice said impassively.

"As expected from the Young Master. You're kind," a deep voice replied.

"Will it hurt?" Ciel pressed his fingers gently to his right eye, his bangs hiding his left.

"Yes, a little," Sebastian said softly, "I'll keep it as gentle as possible..."

"Don't," the once Earl interrupted, "Make it as painful as you can."

The demon, shocked, locked eyes with his master.

"Carve the pain of my life into my soul," Ciel demanded softly.

Sebastian gasped quietly before smiling serenely. He bowed, perfect as always, and answered, "Yes, my Lord."

Ciel watched the man through sad eyes and then leaned back against the hard stone bench, a soft female voice singing softly, beautifully, into his ears.

The demon tore off his right glove with his teeth, letting it fall uselessly to the dusty dirt floor as he walked up to the boy. Sebastian gently caressed Ciel's face, running the pads of his fingers and the back of his hand smoothly against his master's left cheek. He maneuvered his fingers under the strap of the boy's eye patch, tearing it away from the boy's gorgeous face, revealing their contract mark.

Ciel's eyes glittered almost unnoticeably as the song continued to play in his head, and he continued to gaze up at the beautiful, perfect, fucking _gorgeous_ face of this demon. His heart felt like it was about to jump out of his mouth, but it wasn't from fear. No, because Ciel was not afraid of his servant. Ciel fucking _loved_ him, and he hated himself for it.

And as Sebastian's glowing, slitted eyes moved closer and that perfectly shaped mouth took up the rest of his vision, Ciel just stared, listening to an enerthal voice singing peace into his heart.

"_Then…Young Master."_

_

* * *

_

_He traps me in a massive iron bird cage; the top curves and connects firmly with the walls. He's extremely paranoid though, and as such my wrists and ankles are bound tightly by heavy metal shackles that are attached to the cold steel floor where I am forcibly kneeled. He's always in here with me, mocking me with my loss of control._

_His hand tangles itself into my hair and he grips the strands roughly. He's bent over me, his mouth by my ear, and he laughs. Its pitch is low and husky and it echoes around the prison. His breath smells sweet and toxic, and it makes me nauseous. He tugs my head back – my neck straining and my back arching painfully – until it's resting uncomfortably against his shoulder._

_His left hand is splayed across my abdomen, his blunt nails digging into the contours of my stomach. My chest heaves rapidly and my breath quickens. My eyes are wide as they stare up at the bars and I almost scream. But I remain silent, panic clinging painfully to my chest and causing my lungs to tighten. I turn my head slightly away from him as I feel him untangle his hand from my short blue hair. He's making a grab for something, and I know what it is and I wish that I could run away but –_

_-and the world was spinning and I was hurting and I couldn't breathe and everything was just slipping and black, black, black…_

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**© 2009 Inyx Dawn**


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